Money.

 

Money, money, money, money, money, money.

 

Have I said it enough? Is there enough? Do you have enough? How much money does it take for you to feel financially safe?

 

The country may be coming out of the recession, but money anxiety still abounds.   Many of us are faced with real financial challenges.   At the same time, we hope to be conscious about money, perhaps to think of it in spiritual ways or to practice abundance and positive thinking.   And perhaps we find it hard to reconcile those two points of view. So not only do we have money problems, but we also blame ourselves for creating those problems in the first place.

 

One of the most insidious "New Age" beliefs out there is one that goes something like this: If I was truly more spiritual, I wouldn't care about money, or I wouldn't have these problems because I'd manifest all the money I need.  

 

  If this is you, please stop it.   Be kind to yourself. Remember, money, along with sex, are the two areas in our life with the most confusion, contradictory beliefs and expectations.   We've been consistently taught, by culture, friends and family, to behave and think in ways different from our own instincts.   And because at the root, money is freedom and sex is passion, we are programmed by our human nature to long for and desire each of them.   If, like I do, you believe that our human existence is a good thing, that the purpose for being here isn't to get back to spirit as soon as possible but to live Spirit in a human body, enjoying all its pleasures and experiences, then it is vital that we rethink our relationship with money.

 

One of the interesting things about money is that, like everything else in our lives, its inherent value is completely unstable.    I'm not actually talking about inflation rates or the purchasing power of a $20 bill, although of course those things change daily as well. I mean that the value of money is different for every single person on the planet. Much—not all, but much—of the value of money isn't what it buys us, or how much we have, but the meaning we give to it.

 

For example, everyone has a different definition of financial security. For one person it might be having $20,000 in the bank. For another it might be $5 million. Or maybe you don't define it by a figure, but by what you can afford: all my bills are paid each month, or I own my own home, or I own two homes, or I pay my kids' college tuition without going into debt.

 

Then there's the issue of how you think about the money you do earn. You might actually have enough income to live pretty much as you please, but because you pay alimony to your ex-wife you feel constrained and resentful, believing that what you have isn't enough because you are legally required to give some of it away.   Another person might live under a tremendous debt burden and feel prosperous anyway because they always make their minimum payments and that's enough for them to feel secure.  

 

Once you achieve a certain survival level, financial security is primarily a state of mind.   The trick is to be able to separate what is truly your survival level, what is your 'want' level ( I want a beach vacation, pretty clothes, books to read, X amount in my 401 K and X amount in savings) and what your beliefs tell you these things, or the absence of them, mean.   And then, if the discrepancy between your beliefs and your cash flow is causing you unhappiness, anxiety, fear, anger or some other unbearable emotion, to   be able to separate enough from your thinking and beliefs about money to begin to question them, loosen up your relationship to it, open up to other ways of thinking.

 

How we interact with money is a personal relationship, and just like any other relationship in our lives, the expectations and assumptions we bring to it determine our happiness.

 

And yet, while it's true that money can't buy happiness, it's also true, on many levels, that money makes the world go round.

 

(Although I recently read something that said once you get past a certain moderate income level, it's not the amount of money you earn that determines your happiness, but if you are having regular sex, and someone to eat dinner with at night. Food for later thought.)

 

This is not a hypothetical issue for me. I'm a single mom who opened a new business in this economy, during a time when people are not spending much, if anything, on inessential items—and healing and conscious living services and classes, let alone the pretty jewelry, books, meditation cushions and organic skin care retail items I stock, are often put into that category. So if you read this thinking that I don't know what the "real" world is like, that I can afford to be high minded and theoretical about money because I don't know the true state of your bank account— I don't need to. I know the state of mine.

 

Spiritually speaking, money is energy.   Like   all energy, it is completely neutral—it has no intrinsic financial or moral value. We, both collectively and individually, give it the only meanings it has.   If tomorrow people decide to instead use acorns to exchange for goods and services, all our money would be meaningless, and our attachment to how much we have or don't have would be useless. A silly example perhaps, but one that is good to keep in mind if you want to loosen up any intense feelings you have around money. Money is simply a representation of energy and human thought.

 

  As energy, money responds to how we think about it, direct it, and allow it to flow in our lives.   Lots of us think money is inherently bad—the root of all evil, responsible keeping the rich man out of heaven. Others think that money is one of the most important things in the world, and no matter how much you have, there's never enough. Often, we think both things at once.

 

Collectively, the human experience has attached so much baggage to money—self-worth, survival, notions of good and evil, fear, greed, lust, aversion—that's it's no wonder that for many of us, our relationship with money is laced with confusion and we are unable to separate our thoughts about it from how much of it we have.

 

I've read some good books about money lately, in preparation for some classes on abundance, manifestation and affirmations that I'm teaching at Ananda. My favorite is The Energy of Money: A Spiritual Guide to Financial and Personal Fulfillment by Maria Nemeth.   I love this book because it is both spiritually conscious and practically minded.   It talks about what it means that money is energy, the ways in which our thoughts, our beliefs manifest in our financial lives.   But it also talks practically about money, in a non-judgmental way. If you are experiencing money shortages, are behind on payments, this book doesn't just offer a way to think about these things, It offers concrete action to take, particularly for those of us who, when confronted with money difficulties, want to turn away and hide from them.

 

Some examples.   In terms of money as energy, and how to change the flow of money by changing the way you think about and experience this flow:

·          Every time you pay a bill, if you feel anxiety, fear, resentment or any other negative emotion, use that as a cue to express gratitude for what the money bought you.   Money is how we appreciate things we value in our life: heat,   clothes, shelter, a car to drive.   Thank you Dominion Power for my electricity (those of us who lost power in the snow really get this).   Thank you City of Charlottesville for my water and gas.   Thank you Mudhouse for this cup of coffee.

·          Ask yourself: who do you need to forgive in order to have a positive relationship with money? Who do you blame for your financial situation? Once you have the answer, do the work to let it go.   Your feelings may be justified, in the sense that the event(s) you hold onto happened, but this is your life now we're talking about. Let it go.   Therapy, journal writing, healing work are all useful ways to dive into this process.

·          Write down every belief you have about money. Some common ones:   I don't have enough, There isn't enough for everyone, having money is bad, children are starving, I can't afford it, Money brings me freedom and good choices, I love having money, if I have money I can't be spiritual. For your beliefs that feel good, leave them.   For the ones that feel bad, that make your body tighten up, simply write down opposite beliefs. If you can't think of any, ask a friend.   There is enough money for everyone, I deserve to have what   I want, Money is an expression of my divine spiritual self. Sit with the new beliefs for awhile. See what comes up.

·          Every day, write a list of all the good things that happened.   I think this is the most important thing you can do to change the way you view your resources in the word: acknowledging every day all the positive things you receive, experience, give to others.

 

One thing not to do: do not try to convince yourself that you aren't in scarcity if you are. Do not recite affirmations you don't believe in.   These kinds of practices, where we deny what we are truly feeling, create tremendous resistance in our minds and   spirits and simply block our progress.   Instead, begin by paying attention to what exists alongside the scarcity.   Focus your attention there.

 

As well as working on the energetic, thought level of money, it is vital that we approach it practically as well. Money is a practical issue.   Many of us look away when we have financial difficulty, and spend far too much emotional energy in avoidance, when, with a little courage, if we faced our issues and asked for help, we'd actually feel much better.

·          First and foremost, if you've been avoiding financial issues, face them.   Know your bank balance.   Talk to the credit card companies if you haven't been making your payments. Don't avoid them, set up a payment plan.   If you are falling behind in your rent or mortgage, talk to your bank or landlord.   People know these are hard times.   You won't be   the first person who has negotiated with them.   Chances are, they have hardship programs in place.  

·          If you spend too much, limit yourself to cash only for a week.   Or a day. Write down everything you purchase for a week. Track where the money goes.   Be accountable to yourself.

·          If you spend too much money—or too little—because of emotional reasons, deal with the reasons. I'm all for retail therapy but sometimes you need to just stop shopping.   Or, if you don't do any retail therapy at all because you are afraid you'll lose money, spend a little.   Get help with this if it's an issue.

·            Set up a budget and live with it.   Don't make it a heroic budget, full of unrealistic expectations.   Allow for some splurging. But know   what you're getting into. The latte example is a great one: if you love coffee house drinks, add up how much you spend on them each month.   Can you live with that figure? If not, how much can you cut back? And if not there, where?

 

These are tough financial times for many people.   Know that too.   It's okay to be scared, worried about money.   It's not shameful and you are not alone.

 

Money.

 

Money, money, money, money, money, money.

 

Have I said it enough? Is there enough? Do you have enough? How much money does it take for you to feel financially safe?

 

The country may be coming out of the recession, but money anxiety still abounds.   Many of us are faced with real financial challenges.   At the same time, we hope to be conscious about money, perhaps to think of it in spiritual ways or to practice abundance and positive thinking.   And perhaps we find it hard to reconcile those two points of view. So not only do we have money problems, but we also blame ourselves for creating those problems in the first place.

 

One of the most insidious "New Age" beliefs out there is one that goes something like this: If I was truly more spiritual, I wouldn't care about money, or I wouldn't have these problems because I'd manifest all the money I need.  

 

  If this is you, please stop it.   Be kind to yourself. Remember, money, along with sex, are the two areas in our life with the most confusion, contradictory beliefs and expectations.   We've been consistently taught, by culture, friends and family, to behave and think in ways different from our own instincts.   And because at the root, money is freedom and sex is passion, we are programmed by our human nature to long for and desire each of them.   If, like I do, you believe that our human existence is a good thing, that the purpose for being here isn't to get back to spirit as soon as possible but to live Spirit in a human body, enjoying all its pleasures and experiences, then it is vital that we rethink our relationship with money.

 

One of the interesting things about money is that, like everything else in our lives, its inherent value is completely unstable.    I'm not actually talking about inflation rates or the purchasing power of a $20 bill, although of course those things change daily as well. I mean that the value of money is different for every single person on the planet. Much—not all, but much—of the value of money isn't what it buys us, or how much we have, but the meaning we give to it.

 

For example, everyone has a different definition of financial security. For one person it might be having $20,000 in the bank. For another it might be $5 million. Or maybe you don't define it by a figure, but by what you can afford: all my bills are paid each month, or I own my own home, or I own two homes, or I pay my kids' college tuition without going into debt.

 

Then there's the issue of how you think about the money you do earn. You might actually have enough income to live pretty much as you please, but because you pay alimony to your ex-wife you feel constrained and resentful, believing that what you have isn't enough because you are legally required to give some of it away.   Another person might live under a tremendous debt burden and feel prosperous anyway because they always make their minimum payments and that's enough for them to feel secure.  

 

Once you get past a certain survival level, financial security is primarily a state of mind.   The trick is to be able to separate what is truly your survival level, what is your 'want' level ( I want a beach vacation, pretty clothes, books to read, X amount in my 401 K and X amount in savings) and what your beliefs tell you these things, or the absence of them, mean.   And then, if the discrepancy between your beliefs and your cash flow is causing you unhappiness, anxiety, fear, anger or some other unbearable emotion, to   be able to separate enough from your thinking and beliefs about money to begin to question them, loosen up your relationship to it, open up to other ways of thinking.

 

How we interact with money is a personal relationship, and just like any other relationship in our lives, the expectations and assumptions we bring to it determine our happiness.

 

And yet, while it's true that money can't buy happiness, it's also true, on many levels, that money makes the world go round.

 

(Although I recently read something that said once you get past a certain moderate income level, it's not the amount of money you earn that determines your happiness, but if you are having regular sex, and someone to eat dinner with at night. Food for later thought.)

 

This is not a hypothetical issue for me. I'm a single mom who opened a new business in this economy, during a time when people are not spending much, if anything, on inessential items—and healing and conscious living services and classes, let alone the pretty jewelry, books, meditation cushions and organic skin care retail items I stock, are often put into that category. So if you read this thinking that I don't know what the "real" world is like, that I can afford to be high minded and theoretical about money because I don't know the true state of your bank account— I don't need to. I know the state of mine.

 

Spiritually speaking, money is energy.   Like   all energy, it is completely neutral—it has no intrinsic financial or moral value. We, both collectively and individually, give it the only meanings it has.   If tomorrow people decide to instead use acorns to exchange for goods and services, all our money would be meaningless, and our attachment to how much we have or don't have would be useless. A silly example perhaps, but one that is good to keep in mind if you want to loosen up any intense feelings you have around money. Money is simply a representation of energy and human thought.

 

  As energy, money responds to how we think about it, direct it, and allow it to flow in our lives.   Lots of us think money is inherently bad—the root of all evil, responsible keeping the rich man out of heaven. Others think that money is one of the most important things in the world, and no matter how much you have, there's never enough. Often, we think both things at once.

 

Collectively, the human experience has attached so much baggage to money—self-worth, survival, notions of good and evil, fear, greed, lust, aversion—that's it's no wonder that for many of us, our relationship with money is laced with confusion and we are unable to separate our thoughts about it from how much of it we have.

 

I've read some good books about money lately, in preparation for some classes on abundance, manifestation and affirmations that I'm teaching at Ananda. My favorite is The Energy of Money: A Spiritual Guide to Financial and Personal Fulfillment by Maria Nemeth.   I love this book because it is both spiritually conscious and practically minded.   It talks about what it means that money is energy, the ways in which our thoughts, our beliefs manifest in our financial lives.   But it also talks practically about money, in a non-judgmental way. If you are experiencing money shortages, are behind on payments, this book doesn't just offer a way to think about these things, It offers concrete action to take, particularly for those of us who, when confronted with money difficulties, want to turn away and hide from them.

 

Some examples.   In terms of money as energy, and how to change the flow of money by changing the way you think about and experience this flow:

·          Every time you pay a bill, if you feel anxiety, fear, resentment or any other negative emotion, use that as a cue to express gratitude for what the money bought you.   Money is how we appreciate things we value in our life: heat,   clothes, shelter, a car to drive.   Thank you Dominion Power for my electricity (those of us who lost power in the snow really get this).   Thank you City of Charlottesville for my water and gas.   Thank you Mudhouse for this cup of coffee.

·          Ask yourself: who do you need to forgive in order to have a positive relationship with money? Who do you blame for your financial situation? Once you have the answer, do the work to let it go.   Your feelings may be justified, in the sense that the event(s) you hold onto happened, but this is your life now we're talking about. Let it go.   Therapy, journal writing, healing work are all useful ways to dive into this process.

·          Write down every belief you have about money. Some common ones:   I don't have enough, There isn't enough for everyone, having money is bad, children are starving, I can't afford it, Money brings me freedom and good choices, I love having money, if I have money I can't be spiritual. For your beliefs that feel good, leave them.   For the ones that feel bad, that make your body tighten up, simply write down opposite beliefs. If you can't think of any, ask a friend.   There is enough money for everyone, I deserve to have what   I want, Money is an expression of my divine spiritual self. Sit with the new beliefs for awhile. See what comes up.

·          Every day, write a list of all the good things that happened.   I think this is the most important thing you can do to change the way you view your resources in the word: acknowledging every day all the positive things you receive, experience, give to others.

 

One thing not to do: do not try to convince yourself that you aren't in scarcity if you are. Do not recite affirmations you don't believe in.   These kinds of practices, where we deny what we are truly feeling, create tremendous resistance in our minds and   spirits and simply block our progress.   Instead, begin by paying attention to what exists alongside the scarcity.   Focus your attention there.

 

As well as working on the energetic, thought level of money, it is vital that we approach it practically as well. Money is a practical issue.   Many of us look away when we have financial difficulty, and spend far too much emotional energy in avoidance, when, with a little courage, if we faced our issues and asked for help, we'd actually feel much better.

·          First and foremost, if you've been avoiding financial issues, face them.   Know your bank balance.   Talk to the credit card companies if you haven't been making your payments. Don't avoid them, set up a payment plan.   If you are falling behind in your rent or mortgage, talk to your bank or landlord.   People know these are hard times.   You won't be   the first person who has negotiated with them.   Chances are, they have hardship programs in place.  

·          If you spend too much, limit yourself to cash only for a week.   Or a day. Write down everything you purchase for a week. Track where the money goes.   Be accountable to yourself.

·          If you spend too much money—or too little—because of emotional reasons, deal with the reasons. I'm all for retail therapy but sometimes you need to just stop shopping.   Or, if you don't do any retail therapy at all because you are afraid you'll lose money, spend a little.   Get help with this if it's an issue.

·            Set up a budget and live with it.   Don't make it a heroic budget, full of unrealistic expectations.   Allow for some splurging. But know   what you're getting into. The latte example is a great one: if you love coffee house drinks, add up how much you spend on them each month.   Can you live with that figure? If not, how much can you cut back? And if not there, where?

 

These are tough financial times for many people.   Know that too.   It's okay to be scared, worried about money.   It's not shameful and you are not alone.